I’m a fan of really uncomfortable moments.
Actually, I hate them...
We all do…
Uncomfortable moments are like a dark tunnel with no visible light at the end.
I know those anxious chills. I’ve met the symphony of opinions in my head, all talking with nothing valuable to say. It’s as if my entire body is fighting me as I walk towards the tunnel.
Nonetheless, I love uncomfortable moments.
Growth happens when we are uncomfortable. It’s the only time we ever grow. I made this connection too late in life, and it’s this connection that solidified my love for uncomfortable moments.
Here are some reflections after many years of meditating on this topic:
-
We build confidence when we prove to ourselves we can do something we didn't know we could do. Thanks to Dr. Alexandra Touroutoglou and Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett for their contribution that the anterior mid-cingulate cortex (aMCC) is the “grit” (aka willpower) center in our brains.
-
Anxiety is seen as a negative. I would argue it’s a superpower if one learns to harness it. A superpower because it reminds us that our perspective is too limited. Anxiety is primarily hesitation about a future not yet realized, and the future has infinite branches. We are anxious because we look only at the negative branches on a limited timeline.
-
As a society, we have spent decades pursuing the bubble that is comfort. Has this bubble resulted in an improvement in mental health, IQ, physical prowess, or spiritual wellness?
Careful and cautious are warranted ways to embark on new adventures. The issue is that we don't embark at all. We convince ourselves we are better off in our shelter than bracing the storm.
I think it’s better to build generations by giving them a life of progressive failure. We make it so that failure is possible, if not welcome. We teach our kids, our students, and ourselves that the story is about overcoming failure, not the failure itself.
Dare I say that we should walk into that dark tunnel. It’s filled with spiders, snakes, and demons alike. Just because the light isn’t visible on the other side doesn’t mean that there is no light. The key truth of every human being is that we have an incredible success rate on making it out of the tunnel. We all have. We all do.
The other truth is that the light starts shining when our awareness and perspective broaden. When we become aware of all the branches and the longer timetable associated with each, we realize we were never in a tunnel, and everything settles into place.
Let children try and fail; let them learn. Let yourself fail, and learn. Conquer anxiety and charge into uncomfortable moments so you can embark on adventures that weren’t previously available to you.
Together we will build something special – with the right amount of failure – for the next generation!
With love,
Armon
