For families affected by autism, tasks that may seem simple to others can feel overwhelming and exhausting. However, experiencing the world through the lens of a child with ASD is truly extraordinary. While most people focus on how the diagnosis affects the individual, it’s important to recognize that autism impacts the entire family.
Siblings of children with ASD often feel overlooked as much of the family's attention is directed toward the sibling with ASD. They may take on additional responsibilities, which can limit their social interactions. Research indicates that siblings of children with ASD are at a higher risk for emotional and behavioral challenges (Solomon & Chung, 2012). Some may even feel pressured to overachieve to compensate for their sibling’s limitations or to stand out (Solomon & Chung, 2012).
Fortunately, there are ways to ensure that siblings feel valued and seen. While children with ASD often thrive on routine, it’s okay to occasionally step away from structure to meet the needs of their siblings. Encouraging them to build friendships—peers who also have siblings with special needs would be great, though that isn’t a requirement. Most importantly, set aside dedicated one-on-one time with them. Whether it’s an ice cream date, a walk in the park, or a quick soccer game, these moments reinforce that they are just as much of a priority.
For parents, an ASD diagnosis can be life-changing, requiring time to adjust and find a new normal. It can also be frustrating when traditional parenting strategies that worked with other children prove ineffective. Research also highlights a “spillover effect” between parenting and marital relationships—stressful days as a parent often lead to strained interactions as partners, and vice versa (Goetz, Hickey, & Hartley, 2016). Additionally, studies suggest that the greatest stressor for parents isn’t necessarily the limitations of ASD itself but rather managing maladaptive behaviors such as tantrums, aggression, and rituals (Solomon & Chung, 2012). Disagreements on how to handle these challenges can put strain on a marriage.
In order to navigate these difficulties effectively, parents should do the following: Align on parenting strategies and goals. Being on the same page reduces frustration and promotes consistency in handling challenges. Build a strong support system. Friends and family may not fully grasp the struggles of raising a child with special needs. Connecting with those who share lived experiences can provide comfort and practical advice. Invest in the marital relationship.Whether it’s date nights or couples therapy, prioritizing time as a couple strengthens the partnership, creating a more supportive foundation for the entire family.
By fostering connection, support, and balance, families can navigate the unique challenges of autism while ensuring that every member—parents and siblings included—feels valued and supported.
References:
Solomon, A.H. and Chung, B. (2012) Understanding Autism: How Family Therapists Can Support Parents of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Family Process 51:250-264.
